Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tío Sutter está loco

You've all heard the news. Stajan, who has been in this city for a cup of coffee, was signed to a 4 year contract, worth about $14 million. Reaction can be found here, here, and here. You might be surprised to here this, but I'm negative on the deal, too. Surprised, right? Hell, I wasn't in love with the Bourque signing, and Bourque can never be accused of ever being a Leaf. Also, don't kill yourself, but GM Sutter gave Stajan a limited No Trade Clause.

What I'm concerned about is the chalkboard. What's the plan, man?

The plan used to be obvious. We had superstars, or superstar quality players, in Iggy, Kipper, Reggie, and Dion. We added J-Blow, and had two NHL centres in Langkow and Joker. Brent Sutter would bring back the grit, and we would be on our merry way to a Stanley Cup. So much for the best laid plans of mice and men (nope, I don't read Steinbeck, it's a Burns reference, even more snobby).

Now we have Gio I'm still madly in love with Kipper, because I remember the dark age of Kidd et al. But Mikka is 33, and I dont know if you've notice, but of all the tricks man can do, getting younger isn't one of them. Iggy is 32. Langkow is 33. Kotalik and Hagman are 31, and 30, respectively. Members of the 'core' that are under 30? Reggie, barely, and Bourque, who will be 29 next year.

I don't feel like doing all the math, but if you are up to it, I think you will find that guys are their best at around 28 - 32. Our group is largely in this age range, but not for long. The 'window' to win a Stanley Cup, and that should be the goal, appears to be this year (Domebeers, you on the crack?), next year, and maybe the year after that. Have you seen the roster? Say it with me people: Fuck.

And that's why, I think, the negative reaction. The fans in this city want a cup. Matt Stajan doesn't do it for them. Who can blame them? Nobody on this team has over 50 points, save Iggy. Does anybody expect any of the non-Jaromes to break 60 points, this year or next? And don't say Bourque. You can say Bourque when he actually does it, not when you adjust his numbers to reflect an 82 game season, which are about 12 more games than Bourque plays every year.

The team is in, or should be in, 'win now' mode. You don't 'win now' with Stajan. Besides being 12, soft, unable to grow a beard or play on the first line, he is also a Leaf, which means all he has known in his NHL career is losing. We signed a player who is used to losing for four years. Same with J-Blow, although J-Blow is worse because we are paying him for at least, at a bare minimum, 40 points, and he has half that. Stajan will at least get 50 points.

Domebeers isn't here to hate, we are here to help. And help comes in one form now that GM Sutter's wife let him leave the ranch drunk to negotiate the Stajan deal: Free Agency.

The thing with free agency, though, is that you need cap space. Which (thanks Darryl!) we don't have. So we are fucked. Which means Darryl has something up his sleeve we just aren't seeing. Trading Kotalik, Sarich, Langkow are great ideas, but your not getting anything for Kotalik back other than a bad contract. Same with Sarich, and probably the same with Langkow, although Id be calling the Rangers and trying to do a Langkow for Prust swap ASAP.

Darryl may have fucked us. Fucked teams can't cry about their situations. If you have to give 100 million, or more, to Ilya, than that's what you fucking do. If you have to pay Plekanec $5.5 a season, you fucking do it. The goal is not to be the Red Wings (dynasty). You need scouts, and hockey people who know what the hell they are doing to be the Red Wings. But we could be the Florida Marlins. We can load up for the one year, win it, and then break it up.

Which means that this current roster needs to be blown up. I can't believe that this gets no play in the media, or in the 'Domesphere, and if it has, I missed it, but where are all the calls to trade J-Blow? According to Overtime, which one shouldn't listen to too much, Iggy needs to go, Kippers needs to go, Reggie needs to go. They all suck. But I never hear J-Blow getting called out for being the thief that he is. People, J-Blow takes up $6.680 of the cap, for what looks like 25 points. If you want to be upset about a contract, fuck Bourques, fuck Stajans, J Blows, and his understated suck, is the one to be pissed off about. And, true to form for GM Sutter, Bouwmeester has a NTC. Who the fuck doesn't on this team?

Remember when John Ferguson Jr was the worlds biggest nincompoop because he gave NTC's away like crack at Paris Hiltons birthday?

Honestly, J Blow at 7 or Ilya at 10? J-Blow has to go. Langkow, Kotalik, Sarich, all gone. Gio still needs his money, and if White wants anything above 2.5, he has to go too (if that midget gets a 1000 year contract, I'm going to kill myself). I think one of Hagman or Bourque needs to go as well, just for the cap space that's going to be needed to get a big dog like Ilya, or Plekanec, or both (my prefered).

This has been one fucked season. You need a laugh? I know I do. Football to the groin:

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. Lots of NMC and NTC. Waymore than I thought. remember back when Sutter was considered to be a genius because the team caught lightning in a bottle in 2004? Dark days ahead for you my friend. Not as dark as the mighty Oil but dark nonetheless.

  2. Pffft
    Oil will always suck!

  3. Fantastic post, I've been stewing on this for a while (I REALLY want Sutter fired). Sutter has mismanaged this team into the next Leafs I fear.

    And while writing this we've just acquired Vesa Toskala.

    Fuck, I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.

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