Friday, March 26, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


It's Friday, and that means one thing: Tiger Woods just did something creepy with a pornstar.

What? Oh, yeah, it is also time for the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (The RTPIC)!

Very, very difficult decision this week. The big news of the week is of course the Democrats passing a healthcare bill. Not to get super political, but I am pretty sure that when Fidel Castro is praising you, then you have fucked up big. Speaking of fuck ups, we had everyones favourite coked out fireballer, Dwight Gooden, show up on the radar again. Seems he likes to get high before driving his kid to school. Dwight, you are not the one who is about to have to write that pop quiz in Science class or beef with little Ricky during recess. Give the drugs to your kid, Dwight, he is the one who could use them. While we are on the topic of substance abuse at schools, we also have this little gem from Thermal, California. Seems a local school there is full of such shit children that it drove the teacher to pill popping and excessive drinking. The douchebag principal actually suspended the teacher over the little incident. Why? What could possibly go wrong with young children and a drunk authority figure? Anyways, you can see why this was such a tough choice.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Brett 'The Hitman' Hart.



Take that, Sasso. Fat!

Wrestlemania 26 is just around the corner, and Domebeers is here to offer the gamblers out there a little guidance. Mike Richards likes to talk a lot of junk about gambling, but you won't find this type of insight on his show.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio: Take Rey Mysterio
A heavily tattooed white man fighting a heavily tattooed latino man. In a battle of the tattoos, we go with who has the most bad ass one, and hands down, Rey Mysterio, that would be you.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes (Triple Threat Match): Take Cody Rhodes
Who Vs What Vs Where? 3 greasy, greasy looking dudes in speedo's grappling each other. Just like at the Vatican. Whatever. Cody Rhodes dad was Dusty Rhodes, and that's good enough for me.

Triple H vs. Sheamus: Take HHH
Triple H, so funny. HHH is Triple H, but that is neither here nor there. All you need to know is that HHH is married to the boss mans daughter, and the dude he is fighting is whiter than those Dr. Dre Dr. Pepper commercials.

Unified Tag Team Champion Big Show & The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth: Take Morrison & Truth
Uhh, R Truth raps his own entrance music when he comes to the ring. I'm pretty sure I have never heard of Morrison or Miz, and I am sure they are delightful fellows, but they don't rap their own music entrance.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Take Pain

World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Edge: Take Jericho
A battle of two sort of Canadians. Fun times. Jericho trains in Calgary, I believe, which means we will have to keep him away from NSD if we want to avoid him getting covered in the same stench of nauseating disappointment that the Flames have (who also train at NSD). Edge is from Toronto, or something. Yeah, I know.

WWE Champion Batista vs. John Cena: Take Cena
I couldn't care less about this match. Guess who is coming up after this one? Fucking right, Brett Hart.

Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon: Take Hart
Apparently, back in the day, there was some sort of incident involving these two. I can't seem to recall what it was about, but I am fairly certain they did not include Vince killing Brets brother or screwing him out of a storybook ending to his WWF career. Bet the house on this one, folks. Bret just won the RTPIC, after all.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels: Take Undertaker
Oh man that Bret Hart match was something else, eh? Fucking sweet, if you ask me. Did you see when he hit Vince with that chair? Holy shit that was awesome. And when Bret went off the tope ropes? That was insane. Man, that was so cool! Bret kept punching McMahon, and then McMahon got help and you thought he was going to win, but then Bret turned it around and put the Sharpshooter on Vince! What? 'Taker and Micheals are fighting? Who cares man, did you see when Bret hit Vince with that chair..
...

I think you can officially add relish to the Flames. Obituary to follow, and all that. From the little bit of last nights game that I caught, one thought: It is nice to see that the Captain knows there are only a handful of games remaining.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

3 comments:

  1. please take a moment to consider joining the blog losers of calgary in partaking of morning pints at flames central tomorrow (saturday) to watch the bruins ppv. it'd be awesome to meet the man behind the man... but mostly to find out what the eff the Z stands for in your name.

    --wi

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  2. If im Vince, I'd be scared of the Hitman!

    PS: The Undertaker doesnt get title reigns, so all he has is his streak, so he'll win. Shawn Michaels likes to go onto vacation, and taker will send him on one!

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  3. lolz. I wont even be awake at 11. Thanks though.

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