Friday, February 19, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


Its Friday, and that means one thing: easy girls at the Liberty Lounge!

Oh yeah, its also time to hand out this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (The RTPIC)!

It was a tough decision this week. We had Alex Bilodeau going all hero with it, sacking up big time when the pressure was on, and coming through Turek (Large, get it?) We had President Obama showing off his cardio by continuing to german suplex the economy (Germans are socialist, its a pun!) and we even had an attempt by Team Canada to pull a David Carradine (look boys, I know your in Vancouver, so your surrounded by cry baby bitch emo's and the like, but suicide is for losers, or Islander fans) against the Swiss. However, none of these worthy candidates were able to take home the gold.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Littlest Hobo



The Littlest Hobo began life in the city of Florence, Italy. His mother was a salt and pepper coloured dog, and his father was Silvio Berlusconi. Such a relationship may have been accepted in Alabama, but the sensibilities of Europeans are notoriously sensitive (See incest and monarchy) and the bastard love child was denied his proper place in society.

Forced into a life of shame and denied his birth right, Hobo was forced to educate himself in the mean streets of plebian Italy. For a while, Hobo operated a roulette table, and he did quite well with it. One day, however, a nefarious character of ill intent charged Hobo was operating a crooked table, and European racism won out over a rational examination of Hobos moral fiber. He was forced to flee for his life from an angry mob of unwashed man with nice suits wearing too much cologne.

Upon getting to Canada, Hobo got to work helping people. In the 03/04 NHL season, Hobo made his way into a little town called Calgary, Alberta. While walking along the train tracks, Hobo ran into a smelly, cantankerous drunk who immediately began spouting off about defense and work ethic. Hobo took a shit on the drunk, who would turn out to be GM Sutter, and told him it didnt matter who the Flames had on the D corp, they werent going anywhere without a goalie. Taking the inebriated Sutter back to his office, Hobo got on the phones and began orchestrating what would turn out to be one of the greatest trades in Flames history: a second round pick for Mikka Kiprusoff.

For saving the Flames franchise, The Littlest Hobo wins this week Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.

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In the interest of spacing out content, the Loubardias interview (Part 1) will go online Monday.

Furthermore,  I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

1 comment:

  1. The Hobo saved my life. For sure!

    ReplyDelete