Its a big day here at Domebeers. We have our first interview ever on the site, and it makes my hemorrhoids quiver that the inaugural interview is none other than Domebeers favourite, Peter Loubardias. The interview was very wide ranging, much like Octomoms vagina. It echoed too (gross). Anyways, because Peter was so 'open' (gratuitous vagina joke #2!), we've had to 'split' (#3!) this interview up into several different labia's (#4!), err, I mean parts. Part one will 'discharge' (#5!) today. Get wet!
Domebeers: Peter, before we start, I have to ask: Is that a new tattoo?
Peter Loubardias: Oh, it is, thank you for noticing. You know, when I look in the mirror, it looks like 'Suck I', which is Latin for 'SKEEEYORES.'
Domebeers: Um, ok. It says 'I Suck', actually. I think it looks great. Very Tyson. Anyways, how have you been over the Olympic break, so far?
Peter Loubardias: SKEEEYORES!
Domebeers: Uhh, right. So good then. Ok Peter, what are you enjoying watching at the Olympics?
Peter Loubardias: Well, I have been watching the replays of the games I call . I say, and I think you and your readers will agree with me on this, that I am this generations Foster Hewitt. I'm also enjoying the male figure skating. I can't seem to give my wife proper attention unless I have seen Evgeni Plushenko. SKEEEYORES!
Domebeers: Ok then. I'm loving the candor, but that might be too much information. We don't need stories about you and your wife...
Peter Loubardias: SKEEEYORES!
Domebeers: Right. This is going terribly. Like one of your broadcasts, actually. Speaking of which, what is it like working with Charlie Simmers hair?
Peter Loubardias: Its been great. Charlies hair is always prepared with notes and anecdotes to share with the veiwing audience. Insightful and witty, working with Charlies hair has helped me grow as a broadcaster. I know Charlies hair thinks Im better to work with than that tool who's job I stole.
Domebeers: You mean Roger Millions? I've met Roger, and he says you guys are friends.
Peter Loubardias: Oh, that waste of airtime has a name? That's cute. Look, the only reason that this generations Foster Hewitt even talks to that clown is because his wife looks like she might be a freak in bed. SKEEEYORES!
Domebeers: Peter! Please, Domebeers is a family website, lets not go down this path. Lets move on. Looking at your bio, it says you are from 'Saskatoon, Saskatchewan'. What is a 'Saskatoon', and where on the 'Saskatchewan' is it located?
Peter Loubardias: Oh, I get that one a lot. Its a Yetis birth canal. A SOLID DRIVE!
Domebeers: Those are humble beginnings. How did you get into broadcasting?
Peter Loubardias: Well, my first break in this industry was in 1989 as the star of the show Tales Of The Crypt Keeper.
Domebeers: Oh, I didn't realize that's how you got your start. How long did it take to get your makeup on?
Peter Loubardias: Makeup? SKEEEYORES!
I feel that that's a good place to end the interview for today. In the interest of rationing content, I will be putting Part 2 of the interview up next week, and so on. We get into more hard hitting stuff as the interview goes on, this was just the introduction banter.
Team Canada was awesome last night, beating the Americans 111 - 0, with Martin Brodeur playing the game of his life. Who needs a butterfly goalie when you have the human puck magnet himself in net. It was good to see that Babcock had the team prepared to come out and play the first period. With that type of jump out of the boys, there is no way we will lose this tourney. Also, I think that Doughty needs to be put out on the ice when the oppositions best players are out, because that guy is a shut down defender if I have ever seen one.
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.