Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Just Like Music

What does Zoloft and the music they play at the 'Dome have in common? They both make you want to kill yourself!

So, youve bought your 'Domebeers, you've got some delicious food (go overpriced popcorn!) and your at your seat, ready to enjoy a night of narcolepsy inducing play from the Flames. All of a sudden, BLAM, you get hit in the face with a metaphorical sledgehammer of fucking terrible music. Are they playing emo? Are they playing pop? These thoughts race through your head like a car through a crowd. All you know for sure is you want to cut your ears off.

We here at Domebeers feel your pain. Although everyone has their own preference in music (I was going to write taste, but what do taste and this whore have in common?), we think there are a few issues everyone who follows this team can agree on. More country music, less gay music, no emo music (Linkin Park? Can someone explain to me how the fuck these no talent walking arguments for forced abortions get on the playlist?), these are some touchstones we can all agree upon.

Looking over the 'Domes playlist is pretty depressing. You look at it and your like, 'Does this organization employ anybody in the 'Entertainment' department that isnt a fucking retard greaseball?'. Hey idiots at the 'Dome: YOU'RE IN ALBERTA! You would think they would play a country song once in a while. Whatever. Thats a whole other post. Today we are going to talk about the songs under 'Warm-Ups':

Music at Work - Tragically Hip
Starseed - Our Lady Peace
Sounds of Madness - Shinedown
Animal - Pearl Jam
Indestructible - Disturbed
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Runnin' Wild - Airbourne
Inside the Fire - Disturbed
Light It Up - Rev Theory
Hammerhead - Offspring

Where the fuck to start with this magnificent pile of shit? The Hip? OLP? Foo Fighters? The brain dead sheep who listen to Vibe FM have a better taste in music then whoever thought this list up. Pathetic. However, we arent here to hate, we are here to help.

What Would Domebeers Keep:
Alright, we will try to be open minded. We will keep something. Actually, looking through this list, and checking out the youtubes, I found two that I didnt immediately develop a visceral hate for. Runnin' Wild and Light It Up, as far as warmup songs go (which Im taking to mean should jack the crowd up pregame) they do there jobs. They arent sung by some wuss sounding fairy, and Light It Up actually has a pretty awesome video (if a bunch of hot girls in their bras and panties appeals to you). So we have 2 of 10 that are worth keeping.

What Domebeers Thinks is Kaka:
Every song on that list, save the two aforementioned.

Thats 8 songs that need to be changed. stat. Domebeers, grab your scalpel.

Whipping Post - Allman Brothers
Taking Care of Business - BTO
Tombstone Shadow - CCR
Shut Em Down - Public Enemy (Pete Rock Remix)
Feel Like Im Fixin To Die - Country Joe
Convoy - C.W. McCall
25 Minutes To Go - Johnny Cash
Living For The City - Stevie Wonder

These are my humble suggestions. Kept the list family friendly, and yet we think we managed to get a huge infusion of cowboy soul into that list. If you have your own suggestions, or just want to tell Kenneth King about how awesome Domebeers music list (and website) is, feel free: kking@calgaryflames.com!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

1 comment:

  1. Where the fuck is Four strong winds! I dont see no Ian Tyson,Gary Buck, or Ray Griff. Thats ALBERTA!

    Keep Loubardias out your mouth!

    ReplyDelete