Thursday, February 25, 2010

Je Pense, Donc Je Suis

Don't get the reference? Can't read french? Drink Drano!

I've got nothing on this Bourque trade thats new. As a writer, I'm not suppose to tell you that. It's one of the rules. Not talking about the rules is also one of the rules. It's not the first rule. The first rule is you DO NOT talk about fight club.

Honesty is the rule here. Domebeers hates this signing.

Why? Bourque is a good player. Some people out in the ether have made the argument Rene is probably our best forward. Sure. Go with your math. What has math ever gotten us?

Loyal commentator Rubbertrout (seriously, I've seen my numbers, I get a hell of a lot more readers than just Rubbertrout, why no comments?) has even pointed out that some crazies are trying to put Rene in the category of hero player, including his name with the likes of Gaborik, Heatley, Ilya, and most blasphemous, one Sidney Crosby. Does 'fucking insane' have enough weight, as a term, in this situation?

If Bourques our best forward, we are fucked. Period, point blank. Rene Bourque is not a good enough player to be the best forward on a Stanley Cup winning team. His best season? That would be this one, with his whopping 41 points in 53 games. Do the math, over 82 games, at that rate he would have 63 points. He won't play 82 games, of course, he is Rene Bourque, and he is made outta the same shit they made Kim Campbell's time as Prime Minister with.

Last year, Bourque was 178th in the league in scoring. The year before that? 297th. This guys the shit? He is 86th this year, in his free agent year. That's slightly suspicious.

But Domebeers, he is only making 3.3 million a year. Uh, yeah, for the next 6 fucking years. The fans in this city are stupid sometimes. Let me get this straight: Iginla needs to be traded because at 32+ you start to decline, but its a great day to be alive because we just gave a 29 (he'll be that at the start of next season, when this deal kicks in) year old injury prone player a 6 year contract? What the shit is wrong with you fuckers?

Guess how many times this guy has been on some sort of injury list? 24 times. Jack Bauer. In fact, that wouldn't be a bad nickname for the cat.

I would also like to point out that Bourque is only a good player when he is playing like a big man. Big men get hurt because their play is rough. So your signing a guy who has to play in a way that increases his chances of injury to be effective to a six year contract. It makes no fucking sense to me.

To conclude: Sign the guy, he's an ok player. 3.3? Sure, that seems roughly what he should get. Hagman is the same type of suck and he makes 3 million. 6 year term? I think that qualifies this post for the 'What is GM Sutter doing?' tag, because it is simply bat shit insane. Let him walk if he needs 6 years. You can find Rene Bourques.

If your feeling like I'm feeling, you'll appreciate this:

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


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